It’s always refreshing to pick a book that you instantly resonate with. I had this happen when I picked up The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
This book was highly recommended to me by many of my friends and I’m glad I finally took their advice and picked up a copy for myself!
The book itself is a short and easy read which is always nice. The text is concise, eloquent, and makes amazing points by asking questions that really make you think.
I’d like to share with you the Four Agreements as listed inside the books cover:
BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be difficult when you are health as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
For me, “Don’t take things personally” really hit home. At one point in my life, I found myself questioning what I did to make others treat me the way they were. For example, not responding to my texts or seeming uninterested in conversations. When in reality, people not texting back or not being all there in a conversation had nothing to do with me, but on a deeper level had to do with things going on with them. It reminds me of the quote, “be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”. As in, you never know what someone is going through internally. And the way they might be acting or “treating you” isn’t necessarily because of you.
“Don’t make assumptions” was another important lesson for me to learn and it actually coincided with “don’t take things personally”. When I was taking the actions of others personally, it was because I was making assumptions. Assuming it was because of me or my actions. I didn’t have the voice back then to ask what was going on. I was only assuming. These assumptions were ruining my life. I was letting them take over my mind. “It must be me”, “I’m not good enough”, “I must be annoying them”, where the thoughts running through my mind. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Because I wasn’t communicating I didn’t know the truth. Life is in constant motion. Things are changing all the time and everyone is dealing with numerous things at once, the good, and the bad. It wasn’t until I used my voice to ask questions of what was really going on did I understand and know the truth. It wasn’t personal and I didn’t have to assume it was.
I’m grateful to have this book, which I truly consider a tool. Something I can refer to as a reminder for when life happens and I become unmindful. Now, I’ve had the pleasure of recommending it to others and highly recommend it to you if you haven’t already read it! If you have, please share which agreements really stood out and made a difference for you!
Much love & light,
Sarah Del Rey