As the new year approaches, it may be a powerful time to reassess all relationships in your life. From your partner to your co-workers and everyone in-between.
I feel there is a common misconception that boundaries are mean, cruel or unnecessary and in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Boundaries are protective shields we put up around us to protect ourselves from people who do not always have our best interest in mind. Whether it’s the cousin who likes to criticize you or the friend who likes to show up at your house unannounced, determining where in your life people take advantage of your kindness and hospitality is the first step in setting healthy boundaries.
Having boundaries is not a cruel endeavor and rather is absolutely vital for emotional wellbeing. You do not need to suffer in a relationship that is blatantly unhealthy. Instead, setting a firm boundary may help you and the relationship dramatically.
The simple truth is this: Those who dislike your boundaries or push up against them generally are the people who do not have your best interest in mind. Period.
While it’s a hard fact to accept, i’m sure every one of us can think of one person or scenario that brought up this dynamic. If there is someone in your life who rejects your boundaries, it may be time to lovingly end the relationship.
Having boundaries does not mean being unkind or using violent words. Instead, creating boundaries is a healthy form of communication where you have the space to lay out what works for you and what does not.
For example, let’s say you have an ex that is no longer your partner but desires to still be heavily involved in your life and what you’re doing. Just as you’re beginning to date again and seek love, this ex comes back into your life and begins asking inappropriate questions or begins putting you down for meeting new people. This would be the perfect time to set firm boundaries with this person because their actions are disrespectful and are not at their core honoring you or your journey.
Sister, as you begin to lovingly set boundaries, do so from the heart. Remember that it is okay to have boundaries and that you deserve to be around loving, accepting people.
Boundaries are healthy.
Let us all remember that!