The Subtle Ways We Hand Over Our Energy + How to Take it Back
We're honored to share this amazing guest blog post by Seryna Myers. Seryna is a spiritual teacher and business oracle that helps sacred leaders and visionaries bring their whole hearts and divine Truths to everything they do. This blog has some real gems in it so enjoy!
I grew up in an environment where nobody took personal responsibility. Everything was always someone else’s fault, and the bad things that happened were always being done TO us. While it’s nice to walk around a bit oblivious about the impact your actions and energy have on your reality, it’s also an ultra dis-empowered place to be. Now that I recognize the power I have in co-creating my existence, I’ve become ultra aware of the responsibility I have to take care of my energy. I’ve narrowed down 3 common culprits that we hand our energy over to, and how we can reclaim every bit of it.
Energy Grabber #1: Engaging Unconsciously
How many times have you driven home from work without much recollection about the journey? How often have you sat down for “just 5 minutes” to scroll through social media, only to realize an hour has passed and you don’t even really remember what you saw? And how often has your TV judged with you with the dreaded Netflix question: Are you still there? (Stop judging me Netflix!!)
Now take a deep breath… I’m not going to tell you to break up with your smartphone or quit binging the latest Netflix series. But here’s the truth beautiful, when we do things unconsciously, we’re handing over the power that is present when we do things with presence.
You are creating your reality with every word, every breath, and every thought. So the more you can be present with those things, the more consciousness you bring to the reality you’re creating.
Take your energy back: Plan for it.
Set a timer before you start scrolling, and block out time to consciously participate on social media. Instead of just soaking it in, make sure you’re following accounts that inspire you and take the time to like, comment and engage. Before you start watching your favourite show, decide how many episodes you’re going to watch and stick with it. If nothing else, your bedtime will thank you for it. It’s not about cutting these things out all together, it’s about engaging with them deliberately, consciously, and in a way that lights you up.
Energy Grabber #2: Not honoring your inner NO
As a recovering people pleaser, this one was huge for me, especially in my 20s, and definitely during my time working corporate gigs. I overworked, went on dates with the wrong men, and compromised my values in a desire to be likeable, to fit in, and move ahead in my career.
This type of behaviour creates so much disconnect between our actions and our heart’s Truth, and each time the betrayal of self feels greater because it’s compounded by the time before and the time before that. People pleasing becomes such a part of our personality that the people around us don’t even know who we really are, and sadly, we start to forget too.
Living this double life is energetically exhausting, and can eventually lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. While saying no, especially when people around you aren’t used to hearing it, can be momentarily disruptive, the long term pay off is beyond worth it.
Take your energy back: Start speaking up
Using your voice to honour your inner YES and NO is one of the most empowering gifts you can give yourself. It may take some time to get to know what the yes and no is before you can start honouring it, but having the willingness to explore this is priceless.
There’s an exercise I lead my clients through where I ask them to think of their best day ever, and how it feels in their body, and then for contrast to think about a not-so-great day and how that feels. We can use the body’s response as our inner barometer for yes and no. Yes energy feels expansive, open, and hopeful. No energy starts to close in on itself, you’ll physically feel yourself contract. By making it a habit to take a pause before responding so you can do this quick energy check in, you’ll find it a lot easier to honour these boundaries. The more yes-filled your life becomes, the quicker you’ll feel your energy batteries get recharged.
Energy Grabber #3: Comparison-itis
Modern society as we’ve always known it, has put us in a state of craving more, better, different. Without this need to fix, improve, and indulge, capitalism would collapse upon itself, so a lot of industries rely on pitting us against each other to sell us solutions to feel better about ourselves.
In the age of social media influencers, reality TV, and celebrity endorsements, this has become less about the things we covet, and more about the people who have the things we covet. We judge them for having it, and we judge ourselves for not measuring up because we don’t. Worse, we never stop to ask ourselves if we even want those things, or if we’ve been programmed to want them. And it’s a never ending battle - every few years, the key players controlling these desires change up what the ideal is to always keep us striving for something new, on a permanent quest for perfection that can never be attained because it’s out of reach and constantly changing.
Theodore Roosevelt said it best: comparison is the thief of joy. So long as we find ourselves competing and comparing ourselves with the people around us (on- and offline), we keep our strings intact, waiting for the corporate puppeteers to give them a tug.
Take your energy back: Claim what you REALLY want
By shifting the conversation away from what you think you want, and chasing the latest and greatest (all the while judging and shaming yourself for not already having it) to honouring what your heart truly desires, you take all of your power back. You may start to stand out more, and live a bit unconventionally, but you’re living a life on your terms which feels much more fulfilling than anything you can achieve being on the hamster wheel of constant seeking.
An added bonus is when you shift the focus away from what everyone else is doing, and getting and creating more of what you desire, you start to find more satisfaction in life, making you less critical of others. This will deepen your connection to yourself, and to those around you - as you realize you’re much more alike than you previously thought.
Taking back your power isn’t hard, but it does require consistent effort
Engaging in these 3 habits didn’t happen overnight, and they show up pretty consistently in our lives and in society as a whole. It’s entirely possible for you to rewire these patterns, but it will take some commitment on your part.
All of these things will take some time and practice before they become your new normal, so don’t give up if you try it once and fall off the wagon. Just being willing to try something new to reclaim these aspects of your energy is a massive win and deserves to be recognized. I’ve got the confetti guns ready to celebrate you.
About the Author~
Seryna Myers is a spiritual teacher and business oracle, helping sacred leaders and visionaries bring their whole hearts and divine Truths to everything they do. She’s the host of The Lightwalker’s Path podcast, and creator of Due North, a 3 month journey to navigating life with your inner compass. Download her free e-book, The Lightwalker’s Guide to Energy Management here. You can find her at www.seryna.ca and on most social platforms as @serynamyers.