Loving and cherishing your body is an ongoing process. The GoddessCeremony blog holds so much insight on multiple tools you can begin to implement to build a healthy and wholesome relationship to your body. Subscribe here to get all of the love sent right to you! And be sure to check out the GoddessCeremony Podcast on iTunes, Spotify or GooglePlay.
As women, we have heard very specific messages from the time that we were identified as “girl.” Then as a young human, you were probably called “bossy” if you displayed any leadership qualities or “sassy” if you stood up for what you believed in.
Our first understandings of ourselves truly develop between the time we are born in to our adolescence, and the messages that we receive during this time truly mold the way in which we see and feel ourselves within the world. How we are seen, and then what we witness really create the ways in which we decipher between what is “right” and what is “wrong.” Many women hear and see their mothers critiquing themselves consistently. Many mothers eat differently than the rest of the family, or spend extra time ensuring that they have placed makeup on their face, and look their best at all times.
What message does this send? How do young women interpret this, and then relate it to themselves?
If you are a women within the Western world, you have more than likely had thoughts of doubt about the beauty your body naturally holds. You have probably felt as though you could be doing more to make your body LOOK different. Because the thing is, the conversation is just now changing to ensuring that your body FEELS good, and the focus is starting to fall away from looking good. But how damaging has it been to our bodies, our minds and our souls to hear constant messaging that we must look a certain way in order to be lovable, acceptable, beautiful and adequate as a woman?
Whether it is our bodies, our voices, our anger, our passion, our grief, or our thoughts…we have been indirectly told that our place is not to take up space. But instead to ensure that those around us have the ability to take up space instead.
For so long, I asked why I was given the body that I was. Why was I so tall? Why did I have the hips that I did? Why did my body not look like all of the images that I would see of women constantly? Was mine supposed to look like that? Was I supposed to starve in order to achieve beauty? Was I ever going to find love for the body that I was born within?
So many years I spent in a place of hate. I hated the thoughts I had of myself everyday. I hated the way that others would comment on my body. I hated the way I looked. I hated everything that I ate because all it did was add to the problem. I hated working out in attempts to make my body different. I hated the way I allowed for this system of inaccessible and absolutely oppressive beauty standards to make me feel.
I was within the darkest part of this hate when I began starving myself. And attempting to make myself throw up. This is when I knew that I needed help, and that I needed to heal myself of this deep and painful wound.
My journey began when I opened up to a therapist, and dove in to where this feeling of inadequacy was truly stemming from in my personal life. When I was able to identify that, I was able to set a very specific part of myself free. After that, I began to cut toxicity out of my life. Communication with people who no longer served me was severed. I stopped reading magazines, and stopped obsessively looking at women’s bodies on social media. The thing is, healing your body in any way, especially the way in which you see and feel it, is a long and enduring process. Which is important to always know. We are still women existing in this world. There has been doubt deeply planted within us…but what is even more deeply seeded is love. And that is what we must begin to grow gardens of within our souls.
To begin healing your relationship with your body…
Love on her daily. Whether that is with a face mask, a bath, a breast massage, yoni steaming, or a nap, give your body the space to be loved, and to find a space of being held.
Make food that you love. You don’t need to endure a diet or deprive yourself of what makes your soul and body happy. Be intentional with making your food. Show it love and care, and consume it with gratitude. Your body needs to be nourished, not denied.
Find movement that you love. Walk. Run. Dance. Kick-box. Practice yoga. Swim. Jump rope. Hula-hoop. Find what gives your body goose bumps, and makes you feel alive. Set time aside for your body to move as she was designed to.
Say words of love to her. Write out affirmations that you can say to your body daily. Here are some examples that you may want to use:
“I love my body for the ability she provides me.”
“I love how strong and capable my body is.”
“I am grateful for the grace and wisdom my body holds.”
“I am grateful for all that my body allows me to do.”
“My body provides me with life.”
“My body is a vehicle of love and abundance.”
“My body is intricately connected to my soul, my mind, my heart and my purpose.”
“Perfection is the creation of this body.”
“I am a vessel of sheer and radiant light.”
“I was intentionally and perfectly designed. I am an art work of the vastness the Universe contains.”
Be gracious with your love. Know that self-love is a process. It is a cycle that will have high moments, and then low. Be patient with the process of unlearning, and then re-growing.
Spread your love. You are not the only women who has felt as though she could be more or less of something. Talk to the women or people in your life that you trust about how you are feeling. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be open. Know you are not alone. Allow yourself to be validated, affirmed and supported. Spread love, and then allow love to be spread on to you.
I will leave you with this very insightful and powerful quote by Eve Ensler:
"The most radical thing women can do is to love their body.”
All love,
Kanyn Jo