• GoddessCeremony

In 3, 2, 1… with Guest Writer Suzie Bichovsky

We're honored to welcome Guest Writer Susie Bichovsky to the GoddessCeremony Blog with this powerful blog post on healing, acknowledgement and the embracing of our truth. I was blessed to meet Suzie in an incredible summit and resonated deeply with her wisdom and perspective. Enjoy her fabulous blog below! 

“Excited. Honored. Motivated.”

When I was initially invited to contribute to the GoddessCeremony space, this is how I felt. Share tips and strategies to prevent burnout? I’m all in!

Flash forward to May 2020…how could I possibly offer anything relevant to burnout prevention at this time? Aren’t we already…burnt?

“Defeated. Irrelevant. Untethered.”

What’s the point? What’s the purpose? Many of us have felt this way. We’ve also experienced holding space for many emotions at once which can seem chaotic in itself. In a response to a student who asked, “How am I supposed to feel right now,” I said, “You are allowed to wear pants that have a pocket of peace & joy and a pocket of fear & grief.” 

And then I remembered the most important thing that I could offer in the form of burnout prevention…or recovery.

A space of acknowledgement.

You are allowed to experience all of the feels. Then, allow them to move through you when ready. Not by force. But by simply being with them. If you are angry, be angry. If you are scared, be scared. Don’t feel like you have to squelch those feelings and hide them- especially if you are someone that’s usually counted on for your Zen like vibe. 

And if you are having a moment of peace, joy, or euphoria? Don’t feel guilty about it.

I invite you to think about the complicated grieving process. And make no mistake about it. We are all grieving something: People. Places. Stability. Routine. Connection. Freedom. Ease. Anticipation. Trust.

The grieving process is not linear and doesn’t have a specific timeline. The best advice that I can give to someone who is grieving is to feel it. Whether you feel anger or acceptance, whether you begin to bargain to feel peace, or maybe you are in denial or have been accused of “living in a bubble.” Perhaps you are taking this one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Or, maybe you are forward thinking to what life might look like 6 months out. And that brings you great joy. Or, a sense of depression.

It is all OK. Because it is all you. 

You. Are. Not. Broken. You are human.

And you are not alone.

I reached out to my community and essentially asked them, “What are you missing the most about human connection?” Basically? I asked them what they grieved.

What do you resonate with the most?

-Missing the chance to decompress with others in-person

-Hugs and smiles

-Going out with ease and the sensory experience of environments 

-Energy between other folks or within spaces

-Trust in people

-Eye contact and nonverbal communication

-Communal laughter

There were a few comments that really took my breath away. 

“A sense of a future that was more optimistic.”

“I miss not being afraid.” 

“I feel like I will be forgotten.”

Pause a moment to take that in. 

Breathe. Notice your heartbeat. 

Allow whatever is brewing within you to arise before you go any further. Resist the urge to judge or shift it. Simply be.

What are three words that describe how you are in this present moment?

And, what if you are “OK?” What if you truly are, and it is those around you who are not? The best advice that I can give someone who is supporting someone with grief is to hold space with them. Not FOR them. Their grief is not for you to absorb, take on, mitigate, or interrupt. But be with them. 

That may look like you texting someone with a daily check-in of “How are you” or sending them a meme or photo of your pet or toes. You know your person. Or, listening to them tell you that story or thought for the tenth time in a row and understand that it’s their process. 

Or maybe you are holding physical space with that person and there is no escape or space for you. Maybe it looks like having a really hard conversation about carving out time that is NOT about this. Or, times of the day that you can freely engage in a conversation about it. But, have the conversation. Boundaries protect our hearts so we can be more open hearted.

Whether you are currently craving burnout prevention, support, or recovery,  here are some tips that can support you in acknowledging how you truly feel. The goal is to allow the feeling to move through you so you can make choices from a place of truth, not grief or euphoria. 

3 Words: Get into the habit of pausing to check-in on your own three words. Find a routine that already exists and embed it. When you: brush your teeth, drink water, wash your hands, hear birdsong, want a tasty treat. Name it. Out loud. And for the love of donuts, do not label them as positive or negative. Simply be.

2 Minutes: What serves you in honoring those three words and moving through them? Do you need to drum, yell, run, walk, dance party, cry? Do you need to breathe deeply and quietly, hold a posture that grounds, or journal?  Carve out two minutes and get really loud or really quiet. Which one gives you the release that you need? 

1 Person: Find that one person to be raw with. Connect and be accountable to that person for just one minute through a voice memo, text, emoji, whatever. This may be a family member, friend, or a stranger you have met through social media that really gets your vibe right now. If you need more than a daily minute and need something deeper than accountability, that may be a good indicator that a wellness provider may be right for you. 

Pause. Acknowledge. Release. Connect. And simply be.

What are three words that describe how you are in this present moment?

In 3, 2, 1…

“Grateful. Thoughtful. Complete."

About Suzie ~

Suzie is a public school educator, yoga teacher, founder of Coachucation™, a burnout

prevention strategist, and the host of the Keep Your Candle Lit podcast. When she isn’t doing those things, she can be found with her nose in a book, petting her cats, or hanging out in nature.

To keep up with Suzie, follow her on her website, Facebook and Instagram for her offerings and guidance.

For a guided relaxation with Suzie, please visit here.

For additional burnout prevention tips and conversations, check out the Keep Your Candle Lit Podcast.

Please check out Suzie’s bookBecause…You Matter on her website. Her book has also been made into afamily friendly online experience that is presently free and is also offered at a service rate for those who are able to contribute at this time.


#guestblogpost #healing #connection

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