Sacred Sexuality and Healing
We honored to share this guest blog post by the lovely Renee Scheer on sexuality and healing. Renee is a recent graduate of our Certified Sacred Women's Circle Creatrix Training. Please comment below and let us know your thoughts!
What if you could experience your own sexuality and sex with a partner in a completely uninhibited, empowering way? What would it look like to enjoy sex as a spiritual experience, a way that makes you feel like you are connected to your own body in pure bliss, a way that makes you feel connected and nourished and held in love?
When I was younger, sex was something that I went about in a way to please my partner. I didn’t even consider that it was something I could embrace as a way to embody my own sexuality and sensuality. Plus I was filled with so much shame from child abuse that being uninhibited and open to feeling loved by myself wasn’t an option.
Sex doesn’t have to be taboo. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be taboo. Talking about masturbation doesn’t have to be taboo. We are divine soul’s living a human experience. We are here to experience all there is to experience in this world. It took many years for me to open myself to all the possibility my sexuality has to offer. So I want to share with you some ways to live a healthy, sexually sacred life.
-4 ways to cultivate sacred sexuality-
Step 1: Work on yourself first
First and foremost, you have to release any shame you feel about your sexuality. This isn’t always easy but it’s so important. If you are carrying any shame from past experiences, now is the time to let that shit go. Work through it by having a conversation with yourself that surrounds this. One of the ways I got through this was asking myself questions and letting the answers come. Shame doesn’t just show up. It’s a conditioning that happens either from what we have been taught, or from something that has happened to us. So if you have been conditioned to believe something surrounding sexuality or anything else for that matter, it’s time to ask why and listen to what your intuition tells you about it. This can be a long process because one question will lead you to another. Ask why 5 times to get to the root of that shame. And then ask yourself what could be possible if I released that shame? What awesome outcome can happen?
And secondly, get to know your body. Women so often spend so much time worrying about the things they don’t like about their bodies instead of spending time exploring how beautiful a gift it is. This is the time to learn about and explore every inch of your physical form. As I mentioned before, we are souls living a human experience. The human body is the essence of that. Start from the top and work your way down, or vice versa, and explore your body in a mindful, meditative way. Close your eyes, or if you’re really brave look in a mirror and gently move your hands to caress your head and face. How does it feel? What do you notice? What do you love about it? Move downward to your neck, to your breasts, to your pelvis, arms, hands and fingers. Keep moving down toward your buttocks, hips, thighs, calves, feet and toes. Take your time and notice every part, notice how beautiful you are, notice what feels really good when you touch yourself there. Seduce yourself. Let your nervous system be nourished by your touch. Don’t rush it. Be present and FEEL. Until you have learned how it feels to know your body and love yourself, it will be difficult to have a sacred sexual experience.
Step 2: Explore Tantric Sex
Tantric sex is a ritual, a spiritual way of connecting to your partner and eye contact is the key. Through long gazes, conversation, and soft touch, you will experience a true connection to one another. Many people find this intriguing but also intimidating because we become fearful of the vulnerability that comes with strong eye contact. In tantric sex, you will be gazing into each others eyes for the entire duration of your experience. You will speak lovingly to one another and you will be gently caressed over your entire body without actually touching erogenous zones. And you will kiss gently and seductively. This is the kind of experience that lets you care for your partner, and for your partner to care for you in a spiritual way that is also sensual. It’s important to also set the scene with candles and essential oils if you desire. True tantric sex doesn’t always include intercourse, but if you decide to have intercourse, the ritual should be completed in a way that your eyes are still gazing at one another, soul to soul.
Practicing tantra will cause your being to have more pleasure than you thought possible. There are many resources out there about this subject so feel free to research this further if you feel called.
Step 3: Communicate What You Want
If you have taken the time to care for yourself as I mentioned above and learn to truly connect and trust your partner, communicating your needs will become much easier. A happy sex life is all about communication. Look into your partner’s eyes and tell them where to touch you, how to kiss you, what you like and don’t like. If you don’t communicate this they will never know. This will make your bond much stronger and your sexual experience that much more incredible. Just like in any relationship, if you don’t communicate the relationship will fail to thrive.
Step 4: Keep your sex life private
Remember when you were a young lady and meeting someone who made your whole body tingle? You wanted to run the phone and tell your best friend about this tingly experience and talk about how he made you feel and the sexual encounter you had whether it was the perfect kiss or a mind blowing orgasm. The truth is, women love to talk and they talk about sex much more than men do. But what if you took a moment to think about how it would feel to have something that was yours, and yours only, an experience that may be difficult to put in words but left your body, heart and soul in a state of complete bliss? How would it feel to savor that and keep that experience to yourself? As I have grown older, I have found that sharing every blissful experience I have had, whether it’s a sister circle or sacred sexual experience isn’t necessary. It’s understandable that when we feel joy we want to share it with the world. Savoring your experience and honoring your being by letting it be yours and yours only is like a prayer. Prayers are between you and your god, source, universe, whatever you choose to call it.
This doesn’t mean we should stop talking about sex because sometimes we need to. I am simply encouraging you to consider what you offer to others while still keeping your sacred sexual experience sacred.
Will you be implementing any of these ideas? What does sacred sexuality mean to you? Comment below!
About the Author~