Remember This as You Go Through a Breakup
Two months ago we wrote a blog post about healing after a break up and it was read by thousands of women around the world. Loss of any kind can be incredibly painful but there's something about a breakup that can bring us to our knees. Having something end that we once thought was solid and absolute can take a long time to heal from.
In the last blog post we shared seven suggestions to heal after a break up (click here if you haven't read it yet!) and in this blog post, we are sharing wisdom on the most important piece of advice we believe all women (and men) need to remember when going through a breakup.
If there's anything I've learned on my healing journey, it's that healing is not linear. The act of healing is such a personal journey that it can be hard to offer any sort of wisdom or insight for people in general.
Every human being mourns differently and every human heals differently. It's part of what makes the human experience so fascinating and unique.
As I've sat and tuned into relationships and how they end however, I've continued to think about one specific key point of healing that I think is not discussed enough.
If you or someone dear to you is moving through a breakup, I hope these words are both empowering and comforting for you.
The most important thing you should know as you go through a breakup~
Whether you were left or the one to leave, likely it wasn't easy. Likely you have wondered what could have been done differently or what could have saved the relationship. Perhaps if you hadn't had that argument a few weeks ago things would still be fine. Or maybe if you had just been easier going and not as opinionated everything would be going smoothly.
Likely you've played out scenarios over and over in your mind, looking for the single moment where everything changed.
I'm here to tell you that you do not need to do this. In fact, it may actually be detrimental to your healing process.
Rather, what you need to know during this time in your life is this: You are indeed enough. You are not missing anything. There is nothing wrong with you.
When we go through a breakup and especially if we are the one left, we tend to attack ourselves, wondering what made us unloveable. And the simple truth is that nothing is wrong with you. You are not missing anything and nothing has made you broken.
Instead, this person has created space where they once stood for someone better to come your way.
Do not become the enemy of yourself. Trust that you are whole and perfect the way you are and that even if you had done X, Y and Z differently, likely you would still be at this place.
Perhaps this person has given you the greatest blessing of your life by making space for someone in greater alignment with you.
Please take these words with you (or even make them your mantra if needed): I am whole the way I am. I am lovable. I deserve happiness.
So much love to you as you navigate the process of healing. Trust that all is as it's meant to be.