Healing After a Relationship Ends
We all know what it feels like to watch a relationship come to an end. It's painful and hurtful and we often find ourselves feeling raw and vulnerable for weeks (or months) afterwards.
I wish I could tell you that there's one simple thing you can do to heal or that one yoga class or meditation would fix everything for you, but unfortunately healing is a process.
The human experience is complex - sometimes so incredibly beautiful that we are overcome with awe and gratitude and sometimes so painful that we cannot get out of bed. It's the ebb and flow, beauty and pain, light and dark of the world that gives us what we all call the human experience. Even in difficult times, there is a slice of beauty that exists somewhere beside it.
If you are going through a break up, watching a beloved relationship end or feeling that it's time for you to step out of a partnership, this blog post is for you.
Healing after a relationship ends~
Step 1. Remember that healing is not linear
Remember that your healing process is unique and does not need to look a certain way. You do not need to get over it or heal faster or mourn longer than you need. Healing is not linear and therefore it is different for everyone. Let go of the thoughts that tell you to move on or get over it. This is your sacred time to mourn, be authentic and look within. There is no need to rush this key healing time.
Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to ride the waves of healing.
Step 2. Take care of yourself
Yes, we all go through the days of binge eating chocolate, staying in bed all day and rewatching things on Netflix. And this is okay for a while. Know that it is acceptable to be sad, to mourn and to need a distraction. But you'll also know what it's time to do something else.
When you feel ready to go back to healthy eating habits, do that. When you feel ready to go on a walk, do that. When you feel ready to meet up with friends and be social, do that. Honor the timing and when it feels right.
Step 3. Keep the green calcite close
Green calcite is a beautiful light green crystal that is known to help heal a broken heart. Keep a piece in your bed with you, on your desk or in your purse. Allow this beautiful little crystal to help you heal subconsciously and allow you to determine the love that you deserve. The lovely MeadowExpressions also sells green calcite necklaces that help hold the crystal over your heart.
Step 4. Journal and process
Journaling has always been one of my favorite ways to process things. Allow yourself to journal and write about your thoughts, emotions and feelings. Sometimes the simple act of writing down our internal dialogue helps us reshape how we perceive the situation.
If this inspires you to write poetry, songs or quotes, go for it! Allow your healing process to support you in finding your words.
Step 5. Find what brings you joy
As you feel ready to, you can begin to weave in joyful practices. This looks differently for every person. For some of us going to yoga and crying in savasana brings us joy. For some of us getting back in our social group brings us joy. For some of us coming back to self care and getting a massage each week brings us joy. Whatever brings you joy and healing is perfect.
Allow yourself to weave this into your life so that you can begin to pick up the pieces of yourself.
Step 6: Take space where needed
If needed, honor your need to not speak to them for a few weeks or longer. Sometimes not talking helps us heal and regain clarity so if you feel called to not speak for a while, that is okay. You can always speak again when you feel ready.
Step 7: Find the slice of bliss where there was once a wound
One day you will wake up and realize that you are not overcome with sadness. One day you will be out on a walk and not think of them. One day you will go to your favorite restaurant and not miss them sitting across from you.
One day you will realize that you are indeed okay and that you have done a lot of healing. Savor this time. Save it for the moments when you do doubt this journey and your past decisions. Remember that all is well and that you are on the right journey.
You may even find bliss where there was once an unshakeable wound.
Warm wishes to you as you embark on your healing journey. Know that you are held within this space and that compassion and love are being extended to you. I'd like to close this post with one of my favorite quotes at the moment by Gabby Bernstein. She says,
"Obstacles are detours in the right direction."
Perhaps the obstacle we are all facing is truly guiding us to where we are meant to be.