Corporate Woman to Free Goddess: My Story
I distinctly remember one day sitting at my desk at my job with the radio blaring as officer's called me. "Go ahead," I responded on the radio, sighing desperately. As I entered the details of the officer's call on the other side of the radio, I felt a deep and clear moment of "this isn't working for me."
I worked as a security dispatcher and security supervisor in Salt Lake City, Utah and when I wasn't at work (which was rare since I often worked doubles), I was at home, in my little apartment that had become my sacred space. This tiny studio apartment held me and nourished me and truly became my safe haven. It was my place to decompress and relax after a long, hard day at work.
I had recently gotten my yoga certification as a Yoga Instructor, but I was lost as to how to use it. I wanted to be an amazing and gifted healer, but had no clue how to do that. So I continued going into work each morning, trying to remain optimistic when I truly wanted to burst into tears.
During this time, I battled depression that would sometimes leave me in bed for a couple days at a time. I craved something, anything but this so badly, but I didn't even have words to articulate what this craving was for. There had to be something more than this I would think to myself late at night in my bed alone. Is this really all there is?
I was just finishing up my degree in health at the University of Utah, had a decent job, my own gorgeous apartment, dated occasionally... from the outside, it looked quite happy. For some people this would have been happy. But something within my core longed for adventure, freedom and community.
A few months later, my intuition spoke to me for the first time in my life. And she only spoke two words to me. Costa Rica, she whispered to me, and she continued to whisper this for the next 5 months.
I fought it. Hard. Why? I would logically assert. Costa Rica didn't make sense. I couldn't get that much vacation time off. What would I do there? How would I get there? Why?
My mind full of negative thoughts stomped this idea into the ground, but for some reason my intuition was not going down without a fight.
It seems that before I knew it, I was on a plane to Costa Rica wondering what the hell was happening. I could not logically rationalize this trip. Honestly it made no sense. But for some reason I just knew I had to be there and do this.
I spent an amazing week in Montezuma, Costa Rica practicing yoga and eating delicious fresh organic food and connecting with women from all over the world. It was the first time I could say I felt really happy in a long time. I felt so incredibly nourished by the ocean and the sunshine and the warmth. On my last day there, I stood in the jungle and looked up to the sky and said, "Now what?"
A few moments later, I met the man who is now my fiance.
Meeting this man forever changed the direction of my life, in the most perfect way possible. It was because of his inspiration that we traveled Central America together and found conscious communities and sacred cacao ceremonies. It was where I found the Sacred Feminine and where I began to heal my old wounds that had been gnawing at me for years. It was where I met myself, for the first time in my life. Years later, here I am. Embodying this wisdom that has been passed down to me and sharing it with women around the world.
I am here because of the voice of my beautiful intuition and my longing for something more in life. I am here because I trusted the wild woman inside of me and never left her behind.